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A Hit Dog Will Bark…Stop Barking, You Weren’t Hit!!!

Na’am, we are a peaceful people. No matter how many times we say this…

 

Stop spending so much time saying we are not terrorists. “They” already know this. “They” are just looking for a reason (within themselves) to not like something other then themselves. Also, there are times when folks don’t like you because they don’t understand the good in you. Mother-in-law once told me this about myself. There is a time to defend oneself and there is a a time to totally ignore foolishness.

When the foolish and liars are constantly saying you are WHATEVER and you are constantly saying, “…but noooo…” You are kinda giving some validity to their speech. So STOP IT!!! Their words have no weight!

 

#tahanisliloleopinions

Easter Baskets and Christmas Toys For The Child of The Muslim Man…

As Salaamu Alaikum Ikhwa,

You’re DATING OR SCREWING women and then women that are not of the ‪#‎BELIEVERS. Soooooooooo while you are in the Masjid, your Boo is sitting in the parking lot WIT’CHO kids listening to the latest song on the #1 hip hop chart… Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Now she is a hot mess and you picked her to teach your kids WHAT? Then you want to make your sons and daughters follow your way and example….. Dont get mad at your son for liking what you teach your daughter you like: Weave; Eye Lashes; Booty Shorts; Hotmessness…. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh I know you are going to sayyyyyyyyyy Ohhhhhhhh but I can marry outside of Islam. Dude, listen to the entire statement not just a fragment!!! MARRY is the key word and ummmmmmmmmm last I checked During the Prophets ( sallallahu alayhi wasallam) time the women followed His way……so no they didnt have to leave their faith but they were not out at the club!!! They were at the hair store for conditioner not hair…………..

‪#‎TahanisLilOleOpinion still comes with facts……

Let the Church say, “AMAIN AMAIN AMAIN”

If Only There Was No Need To Protest…

I am one of those folks that depends on the police, when needed. I ‪#‎Support Police Officers! Many times we complain however, we are not signing up for the ‪#‎Job. Many teach their children to never become an officer. Wouldn’t we want them to be…this way we could avoid the ‪#‎Lies, ‪#‎Injustice, ‪#‎Abuse and ‪#‎Racism…? If you ‪#‎Hate the police (NOT POE LEASE) Then remember to never call them when in an accident or something has happened to you, your ‪#‎Child or your ‪#‎Parent. They’re cool then, huh? If an Officer says stop; you stop. If an Officer says get down; you get down. And whatever you do…don’t have a gun or drugs on you to give them something to go on…..GEESH!

Don’t get too excited officers…If you’re telling me to get down or stop…please dont make the command just because I’m Black! You applied for a job, you took an ‪#‎Oath, you knew the ‪#‎Risks and you knew the ‪#‎Responsibilities. So you should be willing to do twice the ‪#‎Time for your ‪#‎Crime!!! I hold you to a higher level on all aspects. That includes ‪#‎Reward and ‪#‎Punishment!!!

If you can stun, pepper spray, rubber bullet a non black non muslim dude (Synonymous to WHITE CHRISTIAN)…SEE WHERE I’M GOING WITH THIS? Then clearly you don’t have to put several bullets in the back of my hands up unarmed Brother!!!

While all eyes are on the Muslims and all ‪#‎OPINIONS are ‪#‎THINKING terrorism; What is the belief system of the MAJORITY of the POLICE freely killing WHOMEVER THEY CHOSE? Just take a guess… I can assure you the answer has nothing to do with ‪#‎Islam and the ‪#‎Believing ‪#‎Muslims

You can take a look at ‪#‎HISTORY or ‪#‎His ‪#‎Story to see it was never Islam that was the problem ‪#‎Faith when creating the ‪#‎Laws of this ‪#‎Land

You were enslaved; Forced to work the land; Hung; Raped (male and female by male and female); Sold; Purchased; Separated from family; Forced to take on their beliefs; Forced to take on their form of fashion……until you foolishly wanted these things…accepted and expected them to be considered acceptable……….

And now you’re mad… ‪#‎SeriouslyDude

Black Lives Mattered from day one! Nothing had gotten worse nor better. Its just now you have technology and social media to see it happening.

For those of you ‪#‎Foolishly asking what does religion have to do with it… Remain Foolish

There goes ‪#‎TahanisLilOleOpinion again…

If you’re upset or turned red in the face…No need to fret… This tends to happen because Tahanis Lil Ole Opinion comes with facts.

AULIYA OF ONE ANOTHER

AULIYA OF ONE ANOTHER

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

So my two youngest had Back to School Night, it was wonderful to see the parents come in and get involved with their children’s education. It was awesome to have the sisters come over to me for questions and to give the Salaams. It brings me joy to have the children come over because while my hijab offers a protection to me it always offers comfort to Muslim children. While there were some I had never seen, it was quite clear they had seem me. They had gone home and told their parents about Chaston and Charsons mom that is in hijab. I love it, again!!! I smiled (to myself) at the different reactions from the Muslim fathers. There is the one whom speaks to me through his children out of respect. I was told that he sees that I am modest in my attire so he automatically addresses my modesty by not addressing me. I love it!!! Then there was the Brother that comes in the building, sees my face and knows to walk straight to the table I’m helping with. His intentions are not to be disrespectful but only to go to where he knows he will be sincerely helped with his questions as well as any additional information that may be beneficial to his family.

We need to make sure we are getting involved in our communities (things we need to work on in the community) raising funds for teaching, children’s events, building or repairing a Masjid and Islamic Schools. We need to make sure we stay involved in our children’s educations. Not every child can be home-schooled. There are parents that work and aren’t able to volunteer as much as they would like to or at all. This is where you get to know the mom or dad that visits school quite often. Ask them to keep you reminded of any events that will take place after work hours. I’ve seen where it is easy to overlook or misplace the school newsletter. A simple email or call from a friend is always helpful and welcomed.

And spend in the Cause of Allah (i.e. Jihad of all kinds and do not throw yourselves into destruction (by not spending your wealth in the Cause of Allah), and do god. Truly, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).-[Quran 2:195]

Helping each other can give such a good feeling to all parties involved. This is where we have to be willing to lend a hand as well as take help, when offered.  Sometimes we have things to offer that we aren’t even aware of. We have talents or blessings that we see as everyday same ole us.  Someone else recognizes that talent or blessing.  It goes with the old aphorism, “One man’s junk/trash is another man’s treasure”

The believers, men and women, are Auliya’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma’ ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar; they perform As-Salat, and give the Aakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise. –[Quran 9:71]

This is also for the Brothers and Sister that may not have children. Go to your Masjid or local school and ask about how you can volunteer. I recently met a mother that didn’t drive. She would like for me to help with making sure her son gets involved in a sport. There may be a neighbor or a relative that needs a big brother or big sister for their child. This need may be to keep behavior from getting out of control or just to have someone to talk to.

And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but Allah (alone) and be dutiful and good to parents, and to kindred, and to orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor), and speak good to people [i.e. enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, and say the truth about Muhammad (SAW)], and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give Zakat. –[Quran 2:83]

Find out if there is a need for tutoring. This is another way of encouraging our children to stay involved with reading the Quran. Because we all know not to forget Islam while pushing forward with academics. Set-up weekly/bi-weekly/monthly meetings to discuss what the children have learned in school as well as on Islam. Talk about what math facts they memorized and what they memorized from the Quran. Have them use journals to keep track of the things they wish to discuss between meetings.

Allah has sent down the Best Statement, a Book (this Qur’an), its parts resembling each other (in goodness and truth (and) oft-repeated. The skins of those who fear their Lord shiver from it) when they recite it or hear it). Then their skin and their heart soften to the remembrance of Allah. That is the Guidance of Allah. He guides therewith whom He wills; and whomever Allah sends astray, for him there is no guide. –[Quran 39:23]

C’mon Brothers and Sister, I challenge you to reach out and help someone. If I were a betting woman…I would bet you come out of it with a good feeling.

WA SALAAM

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raje oon .Allahummajalni farajawn wa makhrajan war zuqni khaira min haiso ahtasibo wa min haiso la ahtasib, be haqqe Mohammadin wa ale mohammad”

..Let my affairs be free from care & make them profitable & give me means of livelihood from my share & from where I have no expectation…

I Knew You Before You Knew You

I Knew You Before You Knew You

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

After announcing my pregnancies, I have had the pleasure of hearing congratulations from friends and family in many different languages: felicitaciones –spanish; gong xi – chinese; félicitations –french; Glückwünsche –german; congratulazioni-italian; Gelukwens –dutch; parabéns –portuguese; поздравления –russian; congratulations –norwegian; omedetou –japanese; mubarak ho – urdu; badhai ho –hindi. Although I appreciate all of the well wishes, the one I love the most is,

لقد قمت المباركة في ما كنت أعطيت مايو تشكرون إلى واحد من منحهاأيار / مايو طفلك تصل إلى مرحلة النضج وحق التوجيه ، والله قد جعل له / لها نعمة بالنسبة لك

“You have been blessed in what you have been given. May you give thanks to the One who granted it. May your child reach maturity and right-guidance, and may Allah subhanahu wa ta a’ala make him/her a blessing for you.”

I have given birth to six children. My first child was born prematurely and within fifteen minutes I was informed that he would die within one hour. I didn’t cry and it wasn’t because I was a strong Muslimah. It was because I was in shock. With my second birth, I began having contractions in my sixth month. I was put on a regiment of medication and kept under the close eye of a team of doctors. I had a team of doctors because after my first child, I was labeled as “high risk”. During my third and fourth pregnancies my Obstetrician told me I wasn’t allowed to eat my favorite food (macaroni and cheese.) I had Gestational Diabetes with them. The fifth child was born premature as well and now had Cerebral Palsy. As I was tested I stood strong. I thought I was unbreakable.  Well Allah subhanahu wa ta a’ala had news for me! I was/am indeed breakable! My sixth child was not only premature she was sick with an infection and died. I gave birth to a still born baby girl. Shortly after she died my body began to go into labor. I was left with pushing knowing that I would give birth to a baby that was not alive. I had to remind myself that all life and death happen according to the Will of Allah subhanahu wa ta a’ala.

To Allah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills. And bestows make (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both makes and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is All-Knower and is Able to do all things.

Lillaahi mulkus-samaawaati wal’ard; yakhluqu maa yashaaa’; yahabu liman yashaaa’u ‘inaasan was yababu liman yashaaa’uz-zukoor.

‘Aw yuzawwijuhum zukraanan wa’inaasan wa yaj’alu many-yashaaa’u ‘aqeemaa; ‘innahoo ‘Aleemun Qadeer.  Qur’an Surah (42:49).

One of my main concerns after birth was prayer. Do not rush prayer if you are still bleeding and do not feel bad as Allah makes things easy for us.

Post-natal bleeding and menstrual bleeding are also considered forms of major impurity. Both postnatal bleeding and menstrual bleeding waives the prayer from a woman. In those cases, after such conditions come to an end, women are required to make Ghusl before praying.

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “Allaah does not accept any prayer that was not performed while in a state of purity, nor does he accept charity from what has been stolen from booty.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]

“Allah intends for you ease, and does not want to make things difficult for you” (Quran Surah 2:185)

“Allah does not want to place you in difficulty” (Quran Surah 5:6)

It is extremely important to see a doctor when deciding to have a child. If your pregnancy isn’t plan then you should see a doctor or healthcare provider inshaAllah, as soon as you think there is a possibility of being pregnant.  A doctor will be able to tell you what you may be prone to or any deficiencies you may have. This will allow for proper treatment during pregnancy as well as post pregnancy. Your doctor will be able to prescribe vitamins and procedures that may be needed (i.e. sonograms, blood tests, special diets) Always be sure to make all appointments and reschedule any that are missed. InshaAllah early detection can make just about any situation better. Be sure to give your doctor any details concerning family medical history. I have diabetic family members, on both sides, but never had high glucose levels until pregnant. If you have moved or simply switched doctors be sure to let them know of any previous pregnancies. You may be asked the same questions when going for different appointments so it may seem redundant. Just be patient and answer because maybe their records are incorrect. This would be the perfect opportunity to correct any information on file. Also, be sure to read over everything and ask question when unsure of anything. Remember you can’t be a pest when it comes to the health of you and your new baby. Always feel free to research or seek a second opinion.

It is always recommended that you not smoke or drink alcohol while pregnant. Both have been known to increase the risk of prematurity, low birth weight, still born births or fetal alcohol syndrome. Also, try to avoid being around other that smoke. Second hand smoking is a no-no for the baby as well. If the problems mentioned aren’t a good enough reason to avoid smoking and drinking, just keep in mind that Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol and doesn’t really care for smoking. Sorry, I didn’t make the rules. I’m just here to help point them out. If you don’t go without because of stress then go without because it is a waste of you time and money.

And spend in the Cause of Allah (i.e. Jihad of all kinds) and do not throw yourselves into destruction (by not spending your wealth in the Cause of Allah), and do good. Truly, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).

Wa’ anfiqoo fee sabeelil-laahi wa laa tulqoo be’aydeekum ‘ilat-tahlukati wa ‘ahsinooo; ‘innal-laaha yuhibbul-muhsineen. (Quran Surah 2:195)

To strive for a child in the face of infertility is not considered a rebellion against God’s will. The Qur’an tells us of the prayers of Abraham and Zachariah, who pleaded with God to grant them offspring. Nowadays, many couples seek fertility treatment if they are unable to conceive or bear children.

Scholars agree that there is nothing in Islamic law which forbids many types of fertility treatment, as long as the treatments do not go outside the bounds of the marriage relationship. If chosen, in vitro fertilization must be done with sperm and egg from a husband and wife, and the embryos transplanted into the wife’s uterus. Assisted reproductive technologies which blur marital and parental ties are forbidden: such as donor eggs or sperm from outside the marriage relationship, surrogate motherhood, and in-vitro fertilization after a spouse’s death or divorce of the married couple.

“And Allaah has made for you Azwaaj (mates or wives) of your own kind, and has made for you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and has bestowed on you good provision. Do they then believe in false deities and deny the Favour of Allaah (by not worshipping Allaah Alone)”

Wallaahu ja’ala lakum min ‘ anfusikum ‘azwaajan wa ja’ala luakum min ‘azqaajkium baneena wa hafadatan wa razaqakum minat-tayyibaat; ‘afabilbaatili yu’minoona wa bini’matil-laahi hum yakfuroon. (Quran Surah 16:72)

“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth,  when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allaah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allaah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم)”

Nisaaa’ukum harsullakum fa’too harsakum ‘annaa shi’tum wa qaddimoo li’anfusikum; wattaqul-laaha wa’lamooo ‘annakum mulaaqooh; wa bashshiril-mu’mineen. (Quran Surah 2:223)

While it is best for most to exercise during pregnancy, consult your doctor first.  There has shown to be many benefits from exercising during pregnancy.  Women have said to have had a decrease in problems with constipation, less wear and tear on joints and were more rested. Rest during pregnancy will help as a stress reliever. Less stress is better for mom, baby and even dad.

During this time dads may feel a little left out. Be sure to incorporate dad—with chores, other children or for pillow fluffing. While there is some truth to me trying my hand at a joke, do include dad. Fathers are very important during pregnancy. When you may be nervous or not feeling well dad can help with emotional support, appointments, errands and anything else needed. Also, fathers may want to write down any questions or concerns you both may have. Often times while at the doctors you miss something that has been said. This is where dad may have caught what was missed. Always include dad on any out of the womb bonding. Have dad attend any appointments for sonograms or check-ups where you will be able to listen to the baby’s heartbeat. Remember that this will be a life changing experience for him too. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first or fifth pregnancy because each one will be a new experience.

High Risk Pregnancy- generally thought of as one in which the mother or the developing fetus has a condition that places one or both of them at a higher-than-normal-risk for complications, either during the pregnancy (antepartum), during delivery (intrapartum), or following the birth (postpartum)

Premature- Babies born preterm

Gestational Diabetes- high blood sugar (diabetes) that starts or is first diagnosed during pregnancy.

Sonogram- Ultrasound Scan

Cerebral Palsy- condition sometimes thought of as a group of disorders that can involve brain and nervous system functions such as movement, learning, hearing, seeing, and thinking.

Stillborn- dead when born

After the birth and the baby is cleaned and dressed, a male adult usually the father or a grandfather recites adhan (call for prayer) in the right ear and iqamah (announcement for starting the prayer) in the left ear. Hence, the first sound that reaches the ears of the newborn is the call to Allah and the testimony that Allah is Great.

No, I didn’t attend medical school but after six births I’m dang near an expert at Pregnancy and Birth.  (or maybe it just makes me feel good to think this)

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raje oon .Allahummajalni farajawn wa makhrajan war zuqni khaira min haiso ahtasibo wa min haiso la ahtasib, be haqqe Mohammadin wa ale mohammad”

..Let my affairs be free from care & make them profitable & give me means of livelihood from my share & from where I have no expectation…

A Very Able Disabled Child

The Very Able Disabled Child

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

I had always planned to attend law school. However, I also planned to be a stay-at-home mom.  I volunteered for nine years in my childrens schools. Sometimes this required bringing a younger sibling to school in a stroller. I loved working with my children as well as other children in school and the community.

One day while walking the halls, an Administrative Assistant calls me into her office. She said, “Hey you do know one of the Administrators is looking for you, right?” I then left the office only for two others to tell me the same. I stopped what I was doing to go see the Administrator who said, “Tahani, we are looking for a Substitute as well as a Teachers Aide. You have been here for years and everyone loves you and your work. I was wondering if you would like to fill the position?”  I told her that I would need to speak with my husband and children and that I didn’t think I would be able to because of the hours. I would have to be there an hour earlier than when I put my last child on the bus and wouldn’t be able to leave until an hour after I needed to get my two little ones off the bus. Brothers and Sisters, this woman then looked at me and explained that I didn’t need to apply because she was doing the hiring and would hire me on the spot, I could come in at nine instead of eight and could leave thirty minutes before everyone to accommodate the needs of my family. Can you say MA SHAA ALLAH!

I then went back to school and was able to keep working with the help of my husband and older children. It was suggested that I move to the high school because there was a need to fill a position there. From day one I was working with special needs students. I learned every aspect of Special Education and even some medical needs for the children.

I tell you this story because once I learned most of what I now know, I found out that my little one had Cerebral Palsy (A disorder usually caused by brain damage occurring at or before birth and marked by muscular impairment. Often accompanied by poor coordination, it sometimes involves speech and learning difficulties.) I truly believe that Allah (SWT) put me in the position so that I would better know how to help my own child and prepare me for the road ahead. Allahs (SWT) plan is the only plan for me!!!

In my first trimester I wasn’t aware that I was pregnant and did a lot of lifting while bathing and transporting my grandmother during her struggle against cancer. Both of these factors could have contributed to my sons’ condition. While the possibility of neither being the cause. The point is as Muslims we are careful and particular about our health and should be more so as pregnant Muslimahs. In Islam the body is a gift from God and needs to be looked after and not abused. Thus keeping the body healthy is a part of our way of living.

Children without disabilities learn new things in different ways and at a different speed than each other. Teaching children with special needs is not much different.  Always encourage your child to learn just the way you would if he didn’t have a disability.

During the high centuries of Islamic civilization a significant number of blind, deaf or physically disabled people played the roles of philologists, transmitters of the law, teachers, poets, and social commentators, outstanding among whom were: Abu’l Ala al-Ma’arri, Abu Uthman Amr bin Bahr (Al-Jahiz), Bashshar ibn Burd, Ibn-Sirin, Qatada ibn Di’ama al-Sadusi, Muwaffaq al-Din Muzaffar, and Thalab. Atta Ibn Abi Rabah was lame and partially paralyzed. He was known as the greatest Mufti in Mecca. My son is six and has learned to read and add just as my other children. He has the ability to remember stories from the Quran just as most children remember fairytales. While he doesn’t write legibly, (inshaAllah) his writing will improve because he continues to try. I have given him a keyboard to practice spelling and for the use of answering questions at a faster pace (this allows for him to keep up with the flow of his class.) Here in the U.S. the keyboard is an option of devices given to students that have trouble with hand use.

Always look for ways to help the individual needs of your child. Speak with other parents, educators or even other children and adults with a disability.  It’s just as easy as asking where the local Masjid is, where good schools and communities are or where we can find a good sale.

It is also a great thing that Almighty Allah, when depriving a person of a certain ability, sometimes compensates him for it, by bestowing upon him/her a gift, in which he exceeds others. This could be why we see that those people who are deprived of sight, have very sensitive ears allowing them to hear even the slightest of sounds. They are given excellence in other abilities.

You should never be ashamed of your childs disability. Treat your child just as you would any other (compensating for the needs of the child). Islam opposes prejudice against and exclusion of any group of people. The Qur’an addresses all of humanity in this way:

“O mankind, We created you from a single [pair] of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other [not that you may despise each other]. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is [he who is] the most righteous of you. And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted [with all things]” Qur’an Surah (49:13).

Remember to always remain patient with your child and never lose faith.

O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat [the prayer] “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun [the patient]” Qur’an Surah (2:155)

Or think you that you will inter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that they even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, “When [will come] the Help of Allah?” Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near! (2:214)

I constantly tease my teenagers asking, “Are you sure it’s your little brother with the disability and not you?” They tease back saying, “Sometimes mom we’re not so sure it isn’t you.” I found that the “normal” child often needs more assistance than the very able disabled child.

Prayer and smiling always works for me, try it!

Feel free in contacting me or one of the following resources:

http://www.cerebralpalsy.org                                                                                                            www.ucp.org                                                                                                      www.archway.org.uk

“Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raje oon .Allahummajalni farajawn wa makhrajan war zuqni khaira min haiso ahtasibo wa min haiso la ahtasib, be haqqe Mohammadin wa ale mohammad”

..Let my affairs be free from care & make them profitable & give me means of livelihood from my share & from where I have no expectation…